Mr. Osborn I can’t go to College because…..

1. I do not know what I want to do.
Let me be the first to tell you that it is ok not to know what you “are going to be when you grow up”. What is important for you to know is that it will require education after high school. If you are really unsure start at the community college and take some courses that allow you to explore your interests while making head way on your AA degree or certification.
2. No one in my family has ever gone to college.
Well then be the first! There may be people in your family that do not understand or try to convince you that it is unnecessary, but education pays for its self. We have talked about the salary deferential and job satisfaction differences that exist with post-secondary training during advisory. Need advice we are here to help you, just ask.
3. I just don’t know where to go.
Have you sat down with a counselor or asked Mrs. Spencer in the library for some advice. Come see me or Mr. Hughes, or talk to a trusted advisor. We can help you search out your best fit.
4. I just want to get a job.
“I have been in school for 13 years and want out!” You might end up at a job for 55 years wishing you had just finished your educational career for a few more years. A couple years of focused training or education will make a lifetime of difference. Invest in yourself, it will pay huge dividends. You are in an educational groove already, finish the process and get the career you want, not a job.

The reasons to not go on in education may at times outweigh the reasons to go to college, however that is only because you do not fully understand the advantages of having post-secondary education until you have it. Let us help you navigate your choices whether it is 4 year college, community college, vocational training, or the service. The option of no training after high school is a choice you will likely regret for a long time to come.

Mean Girls: Is that a real thing?

The social and emotional research out there, says yes. Studies have shown that social and relational aggression is more common in young ladies than young men. Research has shown that social exclusion, using rumors and lies, mean spirited language, and dirty looks, while not exclusive to girl to girl relationships, it is more prevalent. Data also shows that because this behavior is often covert it gets far less attention from adults as it is not easily seen.
Like me, many of you are probably asking – Why? Why use hate?
The answer can be found in Nicole Landry’s book “The Mean Girl Motive”. What Mrs. Landry found is that there are some clear reasons some girls behave in this fashion. Here are some key take aways from her book.

• Popularity is key to power
• Popularity is correlated with desirable feminine traits
• Mean is used to position in a group structure and gain popularity
• Popular girls were found to be more likely to be mean
• Lower status girls were more likely to use kindness to improve their standing
• All girls are under constant scrutiny in terms of looks and behavior by girls and adults

If you are being harassed by mean girls, remember that it isn’t your fault. The problem lies with the girls spreading the hate. So what can you do? The first thing to do is to not try to handle it by yourself. Ask for help, talk to a teacher, parent, friend, or a counselor. The problem seldom goes away by ignoring it, only by confronting it, however in the right way. School counselors and administrators unfortunately have a lot of experience dealing with these kinds of issues, let us help you.
If you know someone that is being victimized by mean girl behavior, do not be a bystander. Get involved by telling adults, confronting hate with appropriate behavior, and be a leader at school.
IS YOUR DAUGHTER THE MEAN GIRL? When confronted with the stark reality that your kiddo might be part of a group of girls targeting others what do you do?

1. Stay steadfast that there is never a reason to be mean
a. She might try to tell you that the other girl is actually the mean one, in some way that her and her friends are like a vigilante group righting her wrongs. Don’t bite.., mean is mean.
2. Be your child’s advocate but if mean things were said on her part, make her own them. Take the focus off the other party and teach them to only worry about their choices and behaviors as that is what defines them.
3. If it was done on social media, take it away, for a LONG time OR institute random checks without question or hesitation. View all their posts and texts.

We have amazing kids at Lakeside and most all engage in positive relationships, but when kids make poor choices it takes a whole community to make things better.

Sources: The Mean Girl Motive, Why Teenage Girls Can be so mean, Web Med and Psychology Today

My Top 10+1 Study Tips

As we get closer to winter break and semester coming to an end soon after our return from vacation, it seems like good time to talk about study tips for the exams that are coming. These are ones that I recommend, but as always if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.
Parents please talk to you students about studying, DO NOT ASSUME THEY KNOW HOW!

1. STUDY, yep tip one is to simply do it. Do not sit around planning out when to study, get started.
2. If you are in a class that takes notes frequently, review them daily and if you have time re-write them while organizing your thinking in them.
3. Teachers are creatures of habit, if they have asked you a question on a previous quiz or test, you can bet you will see something similar again, if not the exact same question.
4. Schedule some time before or after school with your teacher and ask about what you need to know and be able to do, Teachers are kind people, they will likely give you unintentional insight on what is very important to study.
5. Use or create mnemonic devices, rhymes or acronyms, to help you recall key information.
6. If you work real hard and have done some quality studying, take a study break and reward yourself with a designated timed fun activity like games or social media time (key is to time yourself).
7. The age old advice of get some sleep , it really does help to be rested.
8. My favorite is to say it out loud or even to pretend I am the lecturer. Close that bedroom door and act it out, use your own words and only refer to your notes if you get stuck.
9. Eliminate distractions and find a place where you can focus
10. Answer all the questions at the end of the chapters covered
11. Be over prepared! When you think you have it nailed study some more, leave no doubt.

To be an effective studier you need to know that intelligence is not fixed, you must have a growth mindset and know that you can achieve. Work hard and ask for help, you have friends and support here at Lakeside.

Applying for College, Parents get involved!

When I applied for college I did it all on my own. I filled out applications, completed and edited my own essays, sent the forms and check myself. Believe it or not they still let me in. However, today’s college market is not the same as when I went to school or when you the parent went to school, it is more competitive and more expensive. So this is a time as a parent to get involved and walk side by side your student through the application process. Here are some things to do:
1. Know your students academic record. What is their GPA, class rank, SAT/ACT scores, AP classes taken, and what is their GPA over the last two years. This information allows you to better evaluate the right fit for your child and help give advice on specifics to write about in questions.
2. Select schools in all three categories that your student is interested in. Reach schools or schools where your child’s academic record maybe does not meet the average student at the school, target schools where your student is on par with the average acceptance of students, and safety schools were they are above the average of acceptance. Know the schools and write out there acceptance parameters, averages, and rate your likelihood of getting in. Consider cost in identifying your lists!
3. Apply early, especially to your safety school. Having at least one acceptance letter can really relieve the stress level for everyone.
4. Applications should be polished. Do it right. Parents make sure you have read them before submission and provide edits. Give them to others to read, the more eyes the better.
5. Know where you are applying. Don’t go on just reputation. Study them, visit them, talk to current and former students. The school needs to fit you.

Parents it is critical you take an active role in this process. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask us for help.